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March 29th, 2006



This is the place where I place my thoughts, my feelings - my whole life. A place where I can spill the hurt that I feel within my heart - or the happiness that I feel deep down within. Stories of love, and unwavering hate. Betrayal - jealousy. All of it. If it happens in my life, it's written here. If it's running through my mind, it's here. If I am feeling it in my heart, it's here. This is the place where I write everything that is inside my head and heart. Where I do not welcome people when they ask me face to face. Only those who read this journal - truly know what is going on inside my head, and inside of my heart. This journal is a basic, simple writing of my life. This is dangerous territory to be entering. Not because I am potentially harmful, or because I am a harm to society. Not because I plan to hurt someone, or many people. It is dangerous territory to be entering because I am so lost, so messed up, and in more simple terms - so fucked up - that it can be confusing and quite dangerous to the human mind to read my thoughts. I have hurt people, with my thoughts. I have had people leave my life entirely, just because I thought something. It may not be potentially dangerous for anyone to read, but for me to think, is not a good area to be in. I over-analyze, and then over-analyze that. I rethink everything, and I cannot just learn to "go with the flow". My life is this blog. This journal. It contains my words, the ones I write on late nights or early morning. It is the stories of my heart break, or someone else's heart that I have broke. It is stories of betrayal - people who I thought that gave a - in simple terms again - fuck - actually truly don't. This is my blog. This is my world, my life. Reading this is like being inside my head. Inside my heart. But you need to understand before you can think like me, understand me, or feel what I feel. A lot of people dislike how I write. I write very explicitly. I do not hold back my words when I am angry, and I do not hesitate to let everything out in my blog. Some people don't like me, or how I live. But this is my journal, and I will vent here how I like to. If you disagree, I don't suggest requesting to view the thoughts that roam my head. If you dare, request to see what goes on inside my head - and I will gladly welcome you into those thoughts so desperately needing fresh air with open arms. Not many people are able to get inside this area, where my thoughts float - and roam free. If anyone truly wishes to witness these thoughts, read what I hear, see, smell, taste, touch and even feel - then leave me a message, and maybe I'll let you have a peek inside my mind.

Stephanie
xoxo

P.S.
Whoever took this seriously, and thinks I am that dark of a person is totally whacked. I am as normal as the next person - just with 50% more paranoia than others and I potentially do tend to overanalyze things. I am not a dark person, although when I get angry I tend to be. I was just jockin' you. Don't forget to take a peek inside my mind though - never know what you may find.

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